(I love the film!)
*sigh* did you just break up? You’re probably, upset, hurt…. The list goes on. Well breathe and just read. Here are a few things I think you should do after a break up. By the way, these are just my opinions and what I have learnt, not facts. Everyone is different so what worked for me might not work for you.
There is no routine on what to do after a break up. No right or wrong. Remember that.
- What did YOU do? I know how easy it is to blame your ex but in reality there are two sides to every story. I’m sure at this point you remember every miserable thing s/he put you through but what did you do to contribute to this break up. Did you attempt to sort out your problems? Talk it out? Or you just complained to everyone on twitter about it? Be careful who you let in your relationship… (That’s coming later). But also be grown enough to accept your faults! Recognising and accepting both your faults will hopefully help you prevent making the same mistakes twice. I’m not saying blame yourself forever, it is very easy to do that… just know what part you played in it.
- Your Friends. Now I love my friends and I will forever but I am very careful of what I say. This is where being careful of who you let in your relationship comes in. I know some of you even go as far as calling them Ride or Dies but do you really need their input right now? Tell them you’ve broken up with whoever you’re with but until you’ve calmed down and sorted yourself out hold the details. The reason I say this? Your friends love you so much they might say or do whatever it takes to make you feel better. This is nice. However, telling your friends every dirty secret and making them hate someone they had no relation with is wrong. Also, your friends suggestions like bricking his house (I was going to but he lived too far kmt), throwing away those gifts you once loved might only fuel your anger. Tell them when you’re over it. When you’re not angry. However, everyone has that friend that is capable of being objective. You can tell them. They’ll probably start with asking you how you feel and what you did. Those are good friends. Making the recovery about YOU. Not your Ex. Also, do not go on social networks ranting about it. Some people might be happy you’re finally miserable, some might run to tell your ex and some might tell you things you do not need to here.
- Do something that feels good or something new. I know feeling sad is inevitable but going to the gym and going out in your freakum dress that will definitely get you attention and free drinks will make you feel good for a while! Trust me. Nothing better than looking good and being told by strangers or those who don’t say it all the time. Go out with your friends. Those who know how to have a good time regardless of where you end up. Go home after though. You might feel lonely but I’m not telling you to sleep with anyone that gives you a compliment that night -__-. Doing something new, you’re creating new memories… hopefully happy ones without them. Reminding yourself you don’t need them.
- Take time off from love. Don’t go rushing into anything. You do not need a rebound to get over them. No contact. Clear your mind. Make those changes. Only you will know what those changes are. After a while (in my opinion 30 – 60days), talk to them. If you truly want to end, end peacefully. You don’t need angry exes… Forgive and move on. I didn’t say forget. If it makes you feel better give him back his jumper and things that remind you of him or just put it away. You’re kind of going through a cleansing spell.
- Enjoy being single. No responsibilities. You can focus on you. When you find the real one looking after them isn’t a chore. So if you’re previous relationship was a chore and boring (same date every time. Dinner and or a movie every bloody time… BORING) enjoy being set free. Write down what you couldn’t do in that relationship and can do now. Then go do it. Enjoy it. All this new time use it on you. Not obsessing about the past but looking forward to the future.
- Lastly, don’t be bitter. This might take a while but let them know there are no hard feelings. Don’t seek revenge. Trust me karma is real. Let the forces of nature take care of that (lol I sound like a tree hugger). You might even salvage a friendship but keep your distance. No time for repeating mistakes. I’m not telling you to pretend everything is OK. If you feel telling them of the hurt will help lift a burden do it. It’s better face to face. (Not in a letter. You don’t know who they might show it to -____-). Being bitter makes it longer to recover. Let. It. Go and be happy. Live. Be patient. You never know when someone new is on their way. You don’t want your bitterness to get in the way.
Okay. That’s it for now. I’ve turned my blog post into an essay again. Lol. Any comments and questions don’t be scared … Back to Revision 😥
Bush Babe xo